Divorce and Remarriage

I had my senior showcase yesterday and so I wasn't able to attend class. For that reason I'll just express some of my personal feelings on the topic. Honestly, divorce terrifies me. Of course I'm going into my marriage with the intention of being married for all eternity, however, you just never know what will happen. I guess the only thing I can control is my actions and decisions and make sure that I am never a justifiable reason to get divorced. It is so prevalent in our society, as if the commitment of marriage really doesn't have significant meaning. That is why i'm so grateful for our understanding of the gospel, and the eternal nature of our exhistence and the real purpose of life.

Parenting

Even though I am excited to be a parent some day it also really scares me. It his a huge responsibility. I remember the responsibility  I felt as a missionary.. sometimes it was overwhelming to me how much and with whom Heavenly Father trusted me. Their salvation- to an extent was in my hands. I think that feeling will only be magnified as a mom. From the time they enter this earth it will be my responsibility to love, teach, and guide them in righteousness. I think I'll be more aware then, than any other time what my weaknesses are.

Fathers

This week we talked about fathers and finance. When I was writing my fatherhood paper I realized how much I look up to my dad for the sacrifices he has made for my family. Even though he traveled a lot he did what it took to take care of our family. I was also interested in the article about women switching their mind for a mop. I graduate this semester with my bachelor's degree. My original plan was to go straight to grad school  and then start a full time career. Although that still sounds great I really would rather be a stay at home mom. I don't feel like that diminishes my education or knowledge in any way. It will just be used for a different purpose.

The Media

Yesterday in class it really stood out to me how much misscommunication comes through the form of media it is sent from. It happened just after class when I was texting my fiance. I wrote something as a joke and normally I would put a smiley face or something next to it so he would know I wasn't serious. Unfortunately, I forgot and so he thought I was seriously upset. It didn't take long to fix the situation but it was necessary none the less. I also see this in my family with sarcasm. Me and my brother Cody are both extremely sarcastic. I avoid using it around my sister Niki because she always takes it personally . My brother hasn't figured that out yet or maybe just doesn't care and he hurts her feelings all the time. It has caused numerous family arguments over the years and a lot of harbored anger. It's definitely something that could be worked on.

Oh no! Another crisis!

Today's class was on crisis in the family. It really just made me realize that situations can be a blessing in disguise and can often change people for the better. They seem really hard at the time- because they are- but in the end you can see how Heavenly Father blessed you. That really helped me because right now my family is struggling with quite a few different things that have seemed to tear everyone apart. It gives me hope that something positive will come from our struggles and experiences and we can be stronger because of them.

Intimacy in marriage

I always forget to post on here so this is for last week. Last week we talked about intimacy in marriage. Normally I would feel totally uncomfortable talking about it and especially writing about it but it I don't feel that way. The class was really good and talked about why it's important and it's role in the marriage. I thought it was interesting that men and women peak at different ages and how that can really affect the marriage in either a positive or a negative way.

Adjustments

This week in class my ears were definitely open. We were talking about the different adjustments that have to be made with marriage and when children are born. We talked for a while specifically about adjustments in the first few months of marriage. This pertained to me especially because last weekend I got engaged. I'm excited to get married but I have to admit class made me a bit nervous for the transitions. Especially because I am pretty particular about how I do things and my expectations of others as well. I think the hardest part will just be learning to live with another person and adjusting to their schedule, the things they like, need, and want. Also, finances and budgeting can be difficult as well. I've tried budgeting my whole life but I still suck at it. I have a lot of preparing to do to make this easier that's for sure!

The three Ps

This week something that stood out to me was how the three Ps of dating relate to the three Ps of marriage in The Family: A Proclamation to the World. The three Ps of dating are planned, paid for and paired off. These three things can help you to know if a guy is going to be able to provide and be the kind of husband you want him to be later. The three Ps in the proclamation are provide, preside, and protect. A young man who has learned in dating how to plan will better be able to preside over a family later on. That doesn't mean he makes all the decisions or is in control, but he has learned how to council and make decisions with others according to their needs and likes. The second of the three Ps in dating is paid for. This can show you whether or not he will be able to provide later on. That doesn't mean every date has to be expensive or even cost anything. It does mean though that he is willing to give financially and makes an effort to provide when necessary. The last P is paired off. When a couple is paired off the young man suddenly has to watch over and protect that girl. He doesn't necessarily need to worry about everyone else in the group but he does need to take care of his date. It shows his willingness to commit and watch over. I thought this was so interesting. The church leaders really are preparing us for our futures from a young age. We often just don't see it.

Week four

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A few things really stuck out to me in class this week. We talked about homosexuality which can be really controversial but for me it just helped me be more understanding of other’s feelings and thoughts. It also helped me know how to be a better parent. We talked a little about raising children according to their gender and being understanding of their needs as a child. We were told of an experience where some parents were really concerned that their little boy was playing with Barbies and thought he might end up gay. They went to a therapist wondering what they could do for him. The father was encouraged to play Barbies with his son but allow the boy to be Ken and he be Barbie. It would allow them to spend time together and for the dad to be an example that the boy could emulate with his Ken doll. The little grew up to be an amazing young man and he and his father had an extremely close relationship. He also ended up not being gay. They realized that what he played with didn’t determine who he was. He was influenced by the love and examples of his parents. So often we get carried away in the things that don’t really matter and forget the ones that do.

Week three

This weeks class was so interesting to me, especially when we were talking in the group about the social class that we want our spouse to be from and what we want for our children. I am a really expensive kid and always have been. I love to go shopping and am obsessed with new technology. I always like to have the latest and greatest. I never really wanted to get married and if I did I expected him to be extremely wealthy. I always said that I wouldn't get married for less than a 2 carat ring. Everything was focused on money. I have since changed a lot and want different things. I have learned that a social status and money will never bring true happiness. It's being with those who make you happy and treat you well that brings the greatest joy into our lives. Now, that doesn't mean I want to be in poverty either. I want to have enough for my needs and at least some of my wants. I want to marry someone who comes from my same social class to alleviate the difficult transition and so that we can have a better chance of seeing the same things as needs and wants. I would want my children born more into the middle class. I want them to be cared for and not have to wonder where they will get their next meal from but I also expect them to learn to work like I did. I began working for my family's business when I was 12 years old and it was so good for me. I want my kids to have the same opportunity. I want them to appreciate the things they have and learn that it isn't free but if you put in the effort you will have at least what you need.

 

Week two

I think I comment way too much in class and probably drive people crazy so I'll try and direct my comments more towards my blog instead. I just feel like I'm learning so much about my family and myself from this class. It's a really cool thing. Something Brother Williams said really stuck out to me and has really influenced my thoughts. It related to the fact that even though we are LDS and are striving for the perfect Mormon family it doesn't excuse us from the trials of life. It doesn't mean our families are perfect and function like a well oiled machine. We will still deal with addictions, depression, and other difficult situations. We have no reason to be ashamed of the things we face. I feel like that is especially important to remember here at BYU-I where we expect perfection in all things.
I have always struggled with being around my family all at one time. Family functions usually give me anxiety and make me want to run away. Things have happened over the years that lead me to believe they can't be good experiences and someone will always leave hurt. I'm starting to realize that I'm not so crazy and it's ok to have a hard time in family settings. It doesn't mean they are actually bad but that we all look at things differently and adapt to situations differently but that there is also always room for change.

Week One

I am already loving this class. It is really changing my views on the family and what I want out of my future. I realized the importance of our decisions and how they can affect others. Before the last few months I didn't think that I would ever want kids and if I did I would want to be a working mom. I also had no interest in getting married. I see now how those things affect future generations and that's not fair to those who will come after me. I also see how many of those decisions correlate to cause problems in society. I realize the decisions are very individual and should not be taken lightly. We need to pray often to know what our Heavenly Father has in store for us. Then the hard part comes... acting upon what we know.

Here begins my 2 cents

I originally had a blog on Wordpress but it wasn't working with the pages I wanted so this is my new blog. This is a picture of me :)